I spend hours not being able to really see myself

I spend hours not being able to really see myself

I spend hours not being able to really see myself

Share

I spend hours not being able to really see myself

"Who are we when we look in the mirror?"

2023

0h 4m

0.0(0 votes)

Documentary

Drama

Overview

In a moment of deep crisis, I decided to recover to ease my pain. Sharing my thoughts and channeling them into a concrete product helped me make sense of my suffering.

Links & Resources

Social & External

Cast & Crew

1 member

Directing

Axel Quaranta

ThemSelf

No Image

Similar Movies

Concha de Água Doce

Concha de Água Doce

After years living in the capital, Ariel returns to her hometown on the coast with a new identity, having to deal with all the feelings that have been internalized during her absence, while at the same time meeting up again with her younger sister, Ana.

Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric

Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric

Katie Couric travels across the U.S. to talk with scientists, psychologists, activists, authors and families about the complex issue of gender.

The Crying Game

The Crying Game

Irish Republican Army member Fergus forms an unexpected bond with Jody, a kidnapped British soldier in his custody, despite the warnings of fellow IRA members Jude and Maguire. Jody makes Fergus promise he'll visit his girlfriend, Dil, in London, and when Fergus flees to the city, he seeks her out. Hounded by his former IRA colleagues, he finds himself increasingly drawn to the enigmatic, and surprising, Dil.

Divine Intervention

Divine Intervention

To get the promotion of their dreams, a mischievous earth-bound angel must get two ex-best friends to finally admit their love to each other.

My Own

My Own

This short film tells the story of Bianca, a nonbinary person, struggling to find the place for gender fluidity within the rigid world of ballet. Bianca finds their own voice, in this dance-filled rumination on coming out, not as one thing or another, but as something in between.

Sainte Agathe

Sainte Agathe

Agathe, a 22-year-old woman with gender dysphoria, undergoes a chest masculinization operation after almost two years of waiting in a public hospital.

Beautiful They

Beautiful They

Violet and Blue's youth collide in an early morning toke that leads to the ocean where connection stirs. What results is a tender, uplifting, queer surf-romance about the nuance of gender and the refuge found in being truly seen.

Backspot

Backspot

Ronnie, a 17-year-old competitive cheerleader, literally holds her team on her shoulders as the central backspot position. When hormones, the increasing pressure from her mother/coach, and town rivalries turn serious, anxiety attacks strike, throwing her place in life and in the competition culture into a tailspin.

Still Me

Still Me

After coming to terms with their identity, it's time for Bailey to come out at school. However, this proves harder than they anticipate and Bailey is faced with a choice between social ridicule or the closet.

Nightwalk

Nightwalk

It is night in Warsaw. Two very different homes. In one, a father watches sports lying on the sofa, expecting the son to do the same. In another apartment, a wealthy-looking mother sits at the table to dine with her daughter, completely different from her. At the same time, the boy and the girl embark on a nocturnal adventure of transformation, during which they strip off the various stratifications of gender that they have inherited. The streets of the city are transformed into a liberating walkway. When by chance they meet – face to face, body to body – they mirror each other in silence, offering comfort, safety.

Outerlands

Outerlands

Cass juggles jobs as a nanny, restaurant server, and party drug dealer in order to make ends meet and pay for their tiny San Francisco apartment. After a one night stand with Kalli, a co-worker they have a crush on, Cass agrees to watch her 11-year-old daughter, Ari, while she goes out of town. But as days pass without word from Kalli, Cass and Ari form a bond that spirals Cass back to their own difficult childhood and the pain they’ve been running from.

The Lost Boys: Searching for Manhood

The Lost Boys: Searching for Manhood

A documentary in which 5 men describe their experiences with gender dysphoria as they wrestled with feelings of inadequacy as men, and their ultimate pursuit to find peace in their natural bodies.

Tomboy

Tomboy

Ten-year-old Laure isn't like most girls. She prefers football to dolls and sweaters to dresses. When Laure and her family move to a new neighbourhood, local girl Lisa mistakes Laure for a boy. Indulging in this exciting new identity, Laure becomes Mickaël, and so begins a summer of long sunny afternoons, playground games and first kisses. Yet with the school term fast approaching, and with suspicions arising amongst friends and family, Laure must face up to an uncertain future.

Birth/Rebirth

Birth/Rebirth

A single mother and a childless morgue technician are bound together by their relationship to a little girl they have reanimated from the dead.

Float

Float

Float is an artistic 4-5 minute film shot completely underwater of trans folks swimming naked set to music by trans musician Rae Spoon.

Here with You

Here with You

When Imani goes to her friend's housewarming party, she meets a boy who piques her interest. She invites him over to hang out, only to realise that they have more in common than she thought.

Dysphoria

Dysphoria

A graphic exploration of the undesired effects of testosterone on a young transgender woman's (pre-HRT) body.

Humans

Humans

On the one hand, the multi-layered film functions as an autobiographical portrait of a non-binary person, but at the same time it presents the wide range of difficulties and joys that trans and non-binary people in the Czech Republic go through. The personal is political in this film, which is why the kaleidoscope of situations includes intimate conversations with their mother over fried schnitzels, shots from Ride of the Kings, costumed festivities in the Slovácko region, talking about their coming out around the fire, and serious topics of discriminatory Czech legislation regarding trans people. The informal character of the film is enhanced by authentic interviews and handheld camera footage accompanying the lives of the protagonists.

Always Amber

Always Amber

Amber belongs to a queer generation which no longer wants society to dictate their identity. The teenagers proudly inhabit a spectrum of fluid identities and master their first loves and losses.

Sex and Money: Dr. John Money on Sexual Identity

In this fascinating documentary on transsexuality, Dr. John Money shares his ideas on gender identity. Dr. Money is well known for his research on what makes a person become heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transsexual. In this film he presents his ideas on the anatomical and biological factors that steer one towards masculinity or femininity, sorting them out from the historical, cultural and sociological influences. Sex and Money shows people in various stages of transsexual transformation. We see the adaptations they have made with their families and partners, and note that they seem able to lead rather conventional lives.

Recommended Movies

The Red Pill

The Red Pill

When a feminist filmmaker sets out to document the mysterious and polarizing world of the Men’s Rights Movement, she begins to question her own beliefs. Chronicling Cassie Jaye’s journey exploring an alternate perspective on gender equality, power and privilege.

Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition

Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition

With unprecedented access to the official archives and intimate recollections from the band, both current and past, Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition invites fans to experience one of the most iconic journeys in music history. Spanning five decades, this electrifying documentary charts the band’s rise from the pubs of East London to the world’s biggest stadiums. Featuring exclusive interviews with band members and contributors such as Javier Bardem, Lars Ulrich and Chuck D, as well as all-new animated sequences of the band's legendary mascot, Eddie, the film offers a rare and intimate look at Iron Maiden’s uncompromising vision and unwavering connection with their truly global army of fans.

Avicii: True Stories

Avicii: True Stories

Documentary about the arena-packing Swedish DJ, chronicling his explosive rise to fame and surprising decision to retire from live performances in 2016.

This Changes Everything

This Changes Everything

An investigative look and analysis of gender disparity in Hollywood, featuring accounts from well-known actors, executives and artists in the Industry.

180° South

180° South

The film follows adventurer Jeff Johnson as he retraces the epic 1968 journey of his heroes Yvon Chouinard and Doug Tompkins to Patagonia.

The Class of ‘92

The Class of ‘92

A detailing of the rise to prominence and global sporting superstardom of six supremely talented young Manchester United football players (David Beckham, Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Phil and Gary Neville). The film covers the period 1992-1999, culminating in Manchester United's European Cup triumph.

Ten Minutes Older: The Trumpet

Ten Minutes Older: The Trumpet

Ten Minutes Older is a 2002 film project consisting of two compilation feature films entitled The Trumpet and The Cello. The project was conceived by the producer Nicolas McClintock as a reflection on the theme of time at the turn of the Millennium. Fifteen celebrated film-makers were invited to create their own vision of what time means in ten minutes of film.

Seduced and Abandoned

Seduced and Abandoned

SEDUCED AND ABANDONED combines acting legend Alec Baldwin with director James Toback as they lead us on a troublesome and often hilarious journey of raising financing for their next feature film. Moving from director to financier to star actor, the two players provide us with a unique look behind the curtain at the world's biggest and most glamourous film festival, shining a light on the bitter-sweet relationship filmmakers have with Cannes and the film business. Featuring insights from directors Martin Scorsese, 'Bernando Bertolucci' and Roman Polanski; actors Ryan Gosling and Jessica Chastain and a host of film distribution luminaries.

Selfie

Selfie

Naples, Trajan's district. Initially it was intended for the inhabitants of the shantytowns on the seafront of Naples, who were homeless after the war. But it soon became a kind of ghetto. Alessandro and Pietro are two teenagers who film with an iPhone to tell their difficult neighborhood, their daily life, the friendship that binds them.

Extremis

Extremis

A purely observational non-fiction film that takes viewers into the ethically murky world of end-of-life decision making in a public hospital.

The Last Repair Shop

The Last Repair Shop

In a warehouse in the heart of Los Angeles, a dwindling handful of devoted craftspeople maintain more than 80,000 student musical instruments, the largest remaining workshop in America of its kind. Meet four unforgettable characters whose broken-and-repaired lives have been dedicated to bringing so much more than music to the schoolchildren of this city.

Looking for Richard

Looking for Richard

Al Pacino's deeply-felt rumination on Shakespeare's significance and relevance to the modern world through interviews and an in-depth analysis of "Richard III."

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

Christopher Reeve portrayed the Man of Steel in four Superman films and played dozens of other roles that displayed his talent and range as an actor, before being injured in a near-fatal horse-riding accident in 1995 that left him paralyzed from the neck down. After becoming a quadriplegic, he became a charismatic leader and activist in the quest to find a cure for spinal cord injuries, as well as a passionate advocate for disability rights and care.

Katy Perry: Part of Me

Katy Perry: Part of Me

Giving fans unprecedented access to the real life of the music sensation, Katy Perry: Part of Me exposes the hard work, dedication and phenomenal talent of a girl who remained true to herself and her vision in order to achieve her dreams. Featuring rare behind-the-scenes interviews, personal moments between Katy and her friends, and all-access footage of rehearsals, choreography, Katy’s signature style and more, Katy Perry: Part of Me reveals the singer’s unwavering belief that if you can be yourself, then you can be anything.

Western Stars

Western Stars

The incomparable Bruce Springsteen performs his critically acclaimed latest album and muses on life, rock, and the American dream, in this intimate and personal concert film co-directed by Thom Zimny and Springsteen himself.

Who Are You, Charlie Brown?

Who Are You, Charlie Brown?

Lupita Nyong'o narrates a documentary about Peanuts and its creator, Charles M. Schulz. Famous fans—including Drew Barrymore, Kevin Smith, and Al Roker—share its influence on them, and a new animated story finds Charlie Brown on a quest.

Caesar Must Die

Caesar Must Die

Inmates at a prison in Rome rehearse for a performance of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.

Justin Bieber's Believe

Justin Bieber's Believe

A backstage and on-stage look at Justin Bieber during his rise to super stardom.

Avatar: The Deep Dive - A Special Edition of 20/20

An inside look at one of the most anticipated movie sequels ever with James Cameron and cast.

Sidney

Sidney

This revealing documentary honors the legendary Sidney Poitier—iconic actor, filmmaker, and civil rights activist. Featuring interviews with Denzel Washington, Spike Lee, Halle Berry, and more.